Knae /Amcorp /Asher /Chuang Sing

feeling depressed again lately. And this time I'm not sure why.
Hell, is it even normal to suddenly feel depressed during class? Kept stoning during physics lecture. T.T
What's more, every now and then I start imagining that I get stabbed with knife or sword. Don't ask why. I don't know >.>
Also, I'm feeling more and more distant from everyone. zzz...maybe a loner is my destiny...

oh and to su cheng: i'll do the tag when i get the chance at home. Probably next blog :)

Last Friday, for the 1st time in I think 3 or 4 years, me and brother went out to find a present for mother's day. Not that our family doen't celebrate days like these, we just don't buy presents everytime. Well anyway, we bought a book for Mommy since she loves to read. It was bout computer's good and bad effects on children. We could've gotten one bout traditional medicine(another hobby of mine) but then she would start giving ME the new medicine, so no ;p

Then the next day, we went to pyramid after dinner. Wanted to watch a movie or something. Heh, didn't think we would have trouble finding parking at 8. Boy were we wrong. more than 3 or 4 cars each floor and not a single space to be found. Best part was this bitch who manged to find a parking space. Despite the 3 or 4 cars waiting behind her, she slowly positioned her car to reverse in. Then she slowly and carefully, she reversed into the square. Very Slowly.Enough for my father to lose his patience and start pressing the horn., him & another driver behind.Inconsiderate bitch.

Eventually found parking, but by then no mood to see movie di. Ended up we just go window-shopping. Parents went to SenQ to check-out a TV. Me, bro & sis went to the CD store. Heh, now I know where to find Japanese CDs. Hell, they even had soundtracks from games and animes. Got my Misia album from there.

After that, my sis insisted we visit the pet store next door. Lolz...all because they had a whole lot of hamsters. Gotta admit though, they look adorable when there are round 30-40 of them in a tank. XD

The hamsters....

I'm failing all four subjects...gee...
Wonder if this means that i'm not meant for engineering..
~sigh...well, i guess all I can do now is just  plow through the whole year,  and hope for the best. I don't want to go to any other course yet..

ar....fuk it.I'll juz put part of it here. It doesn't rythme so don't expect a 'nice' poem. And it won't make sense coz it's part of the whole thing. If you want to see the whole thing, it's in Multiply. try and find it

Frustration
I feel it everyday
I want to hang out with friends
Have fun, chit-chat and things like that

But at the same time
I'm afraid
That I'll be left out
Like everytime I'm in a group

Anger
I feel it everyday
But I'm not angry at others
Just me ,myself , alone

I'm pissed at myself
At my inability to talk
To keep a conversation alive
With anyone

I'm pissed at myself
At my inability to keep difficult promises
To keep off the computer for more than 4 hours
To keep off games for more than 1 hour

I'm pissed at myself
At my inability to trust anyone
To open up to someone, anyone
To tell them my fears, my feelings, my frustrations, my mistakes

I'm a bloody mess.  A complete clash of thoughts and emotion.
There are things that I want to do, and at the same time can't bring myself to even try to do
~sigh.....
These days , I'm not sure what I want anymore.....

Attended a Wesak celebration at the Nalanda Buddhist Centre. They were doing some tradtional dragon procession or something. They made 2 dragons from some sort of cloth, each supported by 3 bamboo sticks(i think). They also gave out candles to the crowd that gathered to follow the procession, and together with it was a paper lotus to keep the wax of the hand. It was a 1.5km walk which isn't long, but the guys there insisted on walking slowwllyy. What could have been a one-and-half-hour walk dragged one to 2 hours. That extra half-hour made my feet a bit sore. Heh, at least I managed to get my candle to last the whole trip. ;p But all in all, the whole thing ok, just not the kind of thing I intend to join often.

Also, made another post at knae.multiple.com, a poem of sorts. It doesn't ryhtme..but heck, it doesn't need to. It made as a place to throw my frustrations. I don't intend to show it to anyone, but at the same time I want to share it with someone. geh...talk bout clash of emotions.

And for today's song...